Feedback from first draft

 

WWW	EBI
Good/appropriate font.	Bigger font on institutional titles and maybe make it a bit more sophisticated, it is a bit boring and simple especially as it starts silent, there could be some folly or music added there to make it less awkward.
Good variety of shots and use of movement in some of the shots.	Stabilize shots on premiere pro to reduce the shaking.
Interesting and smooth transitions between the real/dream worlds.	Maybe make it more clear that the reality world is dreary by desaturating the shots etc and just in general edit the colour/brightness of some of the shots to make it more interesting.
There is a good use of a voice over to introduce the storyline as this also follows the conventions of an opening sequence.	I like the music itself but it can be a bit distracting at times so maybe change it to a lesser known song and reduce the volume.
Good use of vibrant shots within the desert setting.	Some of the shots seem a bit rushed so if you could extend them a little bit it would flow smoother such as the tiara shot at the end since it is quite interesting but it cuts off too soon.
Good acting. I like the comedic relief where the protagonist acts dramatic when getting out of bed.	Sometimes the sound cues are off and aren’t smooth which is quite jarring and unnatural. Also, make sure that the volume is even throughout the sequence as in some places the voice over is louder than others.